Preparing Children

Preparing Children for Your Wedding Day

A guide for couples tying the knot with little people in the mix

You know the feeling when you arrive at a wedding and there is an air of excitement and anticipation? And you just know it’s going to be the most wonderful day? Little ones feel that feeling more acutely than we do, however they don’t know what’s coming. They don’t have the emotional understanding or experience to know this unfamiliar energy is a good energy, and it could really overwhelm them.

Whether they’re your own kids, nieces and nephews, or your best friend’s toddler who insists they’re a flower unicorn, having children at your wedding can bring a whole lot of joy, spontaneity, and sweet chaos to the day.

Here’s how to set everyone (big and small) up for success.

1. Talk Them Through the Day

No matter how much you try to stick to routine, things will feel different on a wedding day. Everyone is dressed differently. People behave a little differently. There are unfamiliar faces coming and going, with vendors moving around. And instead of the usual one-on-one catch ups, everyone they know is suddenly in the same place at the same time.

For kids who are used to being the centre of attention, it can feel strange to suddenly take a back seat to the couple getting married. Especially when it’s their parents!

Kids feel more confident when they know what to expect. In the lead-up, talk them through what’s going to happen on the day:

  • What time they’ll need to get ready

  • What their role is (if they have one)

  • Who will be looking after them

  • When food and breaks will happen

  • Show them a video of a wedding. You might be able to find one on YouTube filmed at your venue or somewhere similar.

  • Watch the Bluey wedding episode together - "The Sign" (Season 3, Episode 49). It’s a great way to help younger kids understand what to expect, and it’s genuinely helpful (and very cute).

For younger kids, keep it light and fun. Maybe even practice walking down the aisle or twirling in their outfit. For older children or teens, include them in some of the decision-making. Let them help choose a song, shoes, or flowers.

2. Involve Them in a Way That Suits Them

Some kids love the spotlight. Others will absolutely not walk down the aisle with everyone watching. And that’s okay.

Here are a few roles they might enjoy:

  • Ring bearer (bonus points for a cool box or pouch)

  • Flower scatterer, petal dropper, or bubble blower

  • Junior MC or welcome sign holder

  • Reading a poem or family vow

  • Being part of a special sand, candle, or unity ritual

Or they might just want to be a VIP guest with snacks and stickers. Either way, let their personality guide the decision.

3. Have a Backup Plan (and Snacks)

Even the most chilled-out child can unravel after a big day of excitement and attention. It helps to have:

  • A quiet space to regroup (away from noise and crowds)

  • Someone they trust who isn’t in the wedding party to keep an eye on them

  • Spare clothes, wipes, water and snacks on hand

  • A backup activity (like colouring or an iPad with headphones) for the reception

Pro tip: If you’ve got toddlers or pre-schoolers, consider hiring a babysitter or professional nanny for a few hours. You’ll all be happier for it.

4. Let Them Be Little

Weddings are big days, and kids are not known for their predictability. They might get stage fright. They might refuse to wear the outfit. They might trip, cry, shout “I’m bored” halfway through the vows, or steal the mic during speeches.

Let them.

The magic of weddings with kids is that they’re real. They give everyone permission to loosen up and be in the moment. Some of the most joyful, memorable wedding moments I’ve witnessed have come from unscripted kid chaos.

5. Include a Child-Focused Moment (If It Feels Right)

If you or your partner have children, the ceremony can be a beautiful chance to honour that relationship. You might:

  • Say vows to your children as well as to each other

  • Present them with a gift or keepsake

  • Invite them to sign the certificate as a witness

  • Acknowledge them in your love story

  • Blend families with a symbolic ritual

These moments don’t have to be long or overly sentimental — just heartfelt and intentional.

And remember…

Children bring energy, honesty, and a kind of grounding magic to wedding days. With a little planning and a lot of flexibility, they can feel safe, involved and celebrated.

And if all else fails, remember: bubble wands fix everything.